Cambodia Trip - Wednesday, Day 10

It was really hot today. As I emerged from my hotel, the heat hit me in the face, and only the thought of the air-conditioning in Destiny Cafe stopped me turning back again. I found myself feeling like I really ought to be doing ‘something’ on this, my last day in Cambodia for now.

Instead, I bought iced coffee and sat quietly, enjoying the unexpected luxury of unallocated ‘free’ time. In fact, all three these days have been like this; time, carved out of my busy life, in which to reflect and write and think. Time to tidy my feelings and emotions and experiences, not just for this last week in Cambodia, but also for the preceding ones in Brazil. I have been so busy; there has been little time to reflect, and the days have meshed into a hodge podge of pain and suffering and sorrow and loving and laughter and joy. What a privilege it is to be human, and to touch hearts across the barriers of language and culture. There truly is a universal language, I am discovering.

So how do I feel, all these weeks of ‘missions’ and ‘outreach’ under my belt (such spiritual, noble-sounding words those). In actual fact, all I have done is live. Fully, wholeheartedly, deeply engaged, the way – increasingly this is my conclusion - we are supposed to live all of our time. Spending time with people who live with all but the essentials stripped away, I have had a chance to evaluate what matters most. Reaching out, touching, feeling, sharing; it is relationship that makes life precious. Most of my friends would concur with these high sentiments. But I have been able to live it in an intensely focused way for a while. I have been privileged to meet with people whose faces are now forever painted on my heart.

Alongside my thoughts and impressions of these few weeks, I wrestle with the tragic and unbelievable news of the death of James Roberts, 3* Parelli Instructor. I knew James, but not well. He was one of the many satellites in my horsemanship circle. Did I say satellite? It is probably more accurate to say ‘star’. Knowing he was there, hearing from friends who did courses with him, seeing him at Parelli Celebrations – it was always in my mind that ‘one day’, when I was ready, I would do an Experience Week with him. And after conversations with my good friends Karen & Russell Barker, who had done two of these weeks with James, I had decided that 2013 would be the year. One of the things on my ‘To Do’ list for my return to the UK after this trip was to book this Experience Week – hopefully along with another good NH friend, Sue Rowe. This thought, in the back of my mind, was both challenging and exciting. I was not sure I was ready for James yet, but I was aiming to be. And now this has to be one of the dreams that dies. Like a child born far too soon, there is no way to sustain it. Much as my deeper self argues with this fact and refuses to accept it, there is no other option. Because James died on Sunday, in a car accident. And none of us who saw his light can believe it.

James was a fine horseman, with tremendous courage, vision and purpose. The few times I ever spoke to him, I found him generous with his attention - thoughtful and kind. He gave me advice, way back when my daughter Kerrin was just a young and dream-filled teenager, about how best to support her in her pursuit of good horsemanship and the Parelli pathway. He offered for her to come and work with him so that she could gain experience and insight. He also offered free tuition for any of my children alongside me should I come on a course. Sadly my hip problem meant that I did not take him up on his offer. But I never forgot his generosity or his smile.

I first met him just after he had purchased his ‘Foundation Station’, and it was wonderful to hear his ideas. Wonderful to walk around on his property, and to feel the energy of the dream. Wonderful to watch, from a distance, as he made those ideas reality. Wonderful to hear from so many, who were encouraged and who found their horsemanship enhanced after time with him, laying proper foundations in their horsemanship.

He was – is – inspirational. He demonstrated what can be done with a big purpose and a little bit of time. I am so sad to find that I will never, now, get to learn directly from his wisdom.

Which brings me back to my earlier thoughts about relationship. Unfortunately we have no way of knowing how long we have with each other, when next we will have that chance to say ‘Hey, I care about you!’ I am glad to have had the chance to practise caring in extreme contexts these few weeks, and I find myself going home with an even deeper resolve to live mindfully, thoughtfully and lovingly.

Carpe Deum!

I sat chatting with Andrea and Brenda for a while, and then Paala did my nails for me. This was wonderful, not just because it was the first time that I have ever had nails long enough to be ‘done’, but also because they were done by Paala. Paala is the lady, you may recall if you followed my blog about the first trip to Poipet, who went to Patricia King and asked her for a ‘righteous job’. Six months later it was my privilege to experience, first hand, the effects of the training Paala had received as a result, training that has opened up a new world for her.

And then it was time, if I wanted to feed street children one more time, to head for the border. I had money from Elizabeth for this purpose. Parking the truck at the roundabout, we found a couple of the children and asked them if they were hungry. Within a short time we had a crowd of enthusiastic children, and we headed for a street vendor who was soon busy cooking noodles for them. A mother came over with her small child who was hot and feverish; we prayed for him and commiserated with her in language without words. She too joined the growing group of people waiting for food. And then two old ladies joined us, indicating that they too were hungry. They were absurdly grateful when we said ok, we would get noodles for them too. Our street vendor was kept very busy, cooking; including the old ladies we fed 15. Fifteen people with food in their tummies for today. Total cost? 440 Thai Baht, or £8.99.

Then there was time to hug the children and to try to explain to them that I was leaving to go away on an aeroplane. (Miming up, up, up in the sky). It took a while, but suddenly they understood, and I was surrounded by hugging bodies and smiling faces saying ‘Aw Khun’ (Thank you) and ‘Lea Hai’ (Goodbye). Tears threatened to overwhelm me as I gave a few last hugs and then I said ‘Goodbye’ to Andrea and headed for the Cambodia border office. Passport stamped I headed past the Casinos towards the Thai border office. Here there was a very long queue and it was more than an hour before I was finally on my way. By now I had met up with the Cambodian representative of my taxi service, and he accompanied me to the parking area on the Thai side of the border. Here we waited for my driver to arrive. He said that he had noticed me feeding the children, and he asked what I was doing in Poipet. I shared that I came because I loved the children and wanted to help them... at which point he bowed and formally thanked me for caring about the children of Cambodia. The innate courtesy of these people is very moving.

The driver was late, and we were kept waiting for a while, wondering what had happened to delay him. It was a surprise to find that I had the same driver who had brought me to Poipet, 10 days before. He greeted me like an old friend, and it was with a lot of warmth that we prepared to set off on the long drive towards Bangkok. Unfortunately he did not speak much English, so our communications were limited to smiles and gestures.

Just as we were about to leave a young woman had arrived – it turned out that she had hoped to catch a bus to Bangkok, but she had missed the last bus of the day. She was in an awkward position, as she had already crossed the border, and it would be difficult for her to go back. And there was no sign of anywhere to stay for the night where we were. I offered for her to travel with us, at which point she almost cried, saying that she had been praying and praying for help. I then said that maybe this was exactly why we had been delayed; that God had known she was coming, even though we didn’t. She turned out to be from the Phillipines, and she had had a holiday, travelling from Vietnam, across Cambodia to Thailand. She was now on her way home. It was good to have company in the car, and we chatted for a while until she fell asleep. The drive to Bangkok takes about 3 hours, and it felt very long in the darkness.

At my hotel I tumbled thankfully into my bed, too tired even to eat. Besides which, I had spent the last of my Thai Baht on the street children, forgetting that I might need something to eat myself when I arrived in Bangkok!

Cambodia Trip - Tuesday, Day 9

I have just spent an hour with Sam*. And with this hour I have come full circle. It was the story of Sam that first opened up my heart to the possibility of coming to Cambodia. Late one night, I had sat, horrified, tears pouring down my cheeks as I watched the video clip XP released of the rescue of this severely abused and traumatised  child. And short months later I was in the conference in Devon when Patricia King spoke about what she had seen and experienced in Poipet, Cambodia. When she asked who would like to help. I was one of those who stood to my feet, and later I went to ask her about coming on an outreach week with Operation Justice – which I ended up doing just months later. But I did not meet Sam. I did not expect to meet him, knowing that he was in need of special care and that he was under the protection of social workers and XP.

Last night I mentioned in passing how it is that one event can trigger a response and a whole new direction. Andrea then said she would enquire as to whether I could have a bit of time to meet this child whose story had determined so much of what my year has been about. And so this morning, while she had a meeting to discuss some of his future care arrangements, I got to play Lego with Sam. He must have wondered why this funny English woman had such a huge and perpetual grin on her face! He spent quite a bit of time trying to rub a freckle off my arm; he seemed pretty sure that it was a dirty mark! I built a house out of Lego for him, but he was much more interested in building towers. I made some stairs for his tower, and that idea met with his approval. And he especially appreciated the small container of bubbles I gave him – but he wouldn’t blow them, or let me or anyone else blow them either! And when he had had enough of my company, he pushed me away and hid under the table. I spent time with some of the other children, and every time I looked in his direction, he smiled but motioned me away. Later the school children came over and asked if I was his teacher. I said that I was Sam’s friend. Which I am.

I then went along to have cake in honour of XP staff member Betty who was leaving today. Five of us went along on the trip to take Betty to Siem Reap airport – me, Andrea, Zoe, Gunther and Brenda. It was good to have time to relax and to experience ‘normal’ life. It has also been good to meet other NGO volunteers involved with different projects. There are some amazing people here.

The drive to Siem Reap takes about 2 ½ hours and there is a lot to see along the way. Right now Cambodia is a rich green, after the rainy season and with the rice ready for harvest. All along the way there were tarpaulins spread out and rice drying in the sun. Rice was also being harvested and there was a lot of activity in the fields. Cattle and water buffalo were everywhere, as were the dogs. At one point we even saw a large snake wiggling across the road. Surprisingly, one seldom sees animals killed by cars. In this society where only the strong survive, do they just have more road sense than our Western animals?

The countryside is very beautiful at this time of year. I enjoy drawing in all the scenery, the way the houses blend into and enhance their environment – beautifully shaped red roofs are particularly lovely. I found myself hoping that one of these days, there would be opportunity to explore Cambodia more. I realise again that Poipet is part of Cambodia, but that there is so much more than what I know right now. I would like to see Phnom Penh, and Sihanoukville, and the Tonle Sap and the mountains and, and, and... I would enjoy to have time and opportunity to take some really good photographs to add to the hasty, ‘on the run’ snapshots I have of this beautiful country and these beautiful people.

In Siem Reap we had supper (I had rice and chicken cooked in coconut and Khmer spices – delicious!) Brenda had definite ideas about our activities for the evening, so we called her ‘Agenda Brenda’ and obediently went along with her plans. These included ice cream, and a foot massage, and shopping at the night market. We had fun! Later we took Betty to the airport and then set off on the long drive back to Poipet. We were grateful for Gunther’s driving skills; he got us safely back to the hotel by midnight.  

* Name changed to protect privacy

Cambodia Trip - Monday, Day 8

I woke up to the strange feeling of a day without an agenda. Feeling momentarily lost, I got up and had a shower and sorted my papers and money (UK Pound, USA Dollar, Thai Baht and Cambodian Real – it gets really confusing after a while!) Dressed and tidied, I went off to Destiny Cafe for breakfast after an amazing ‘God Time’. So glad to know He hasn’t left with the rest of the team!

For breakfast I had an omelette. The staff at Destiny do a really good job of making Western-style food. They are amused, always, at my request for strong black coffee – cold, not hot, and with lots of ice! (This is one of the few places around here where it is safe to have ice.) Breakfast eaten, I got on with the job of writing my updates, typing up my notes from the week before, and sorting photographs from Brazil. It was good to have time to do these things.

I had lunch with Betty at one of the casinos. I followed her direction and ordered the meal she likes most – chicken with cashew nuts. Delicious! To drink, of course, I had coconut juice. I won’t have many more opportunities to have my favourite drink this year. Over lunch we had a good chat about the grand adventure we experience with God, and the uncertainty we learn to live with. Betty is facing some big changes in the near future. She does so, equipped with a great history of seeing God’s interventions in her days. I look forward to seeing what will happen next.

Emerging from the casino we were met by some of ‘our’ street children. Smiling they came running over, eager for hugs. This is one small thing that makes me very happy. That they know we are going to be pleased to see them, and that we will treat them like normal children we know, and laugh and smile and hug. These are the children of darkness, the children whom people hesitate to touch, because they are scruffy and dirty and probably have lice. The children for whom touch most commonly is in the form of a slap or a push or a kick. But they have helped us see beneath the surface.

I hugged the boy who caught my eye on that first day – caught it because of the stoic endurance in his young face and the sadness in his eyes. Today his grin was wide and his eyes dancing. He snuggled into my hug, and when I offered him second hug after the others had had theirs, he smiled with pure happiness. His life is hard. I know a hug doesn’t change that. But I like to think that maybe this moment gives him strength for it, at least for today. And again I see it – it is not such a big and difficult thing to make a difference in the life of a child. Love really is what makes the world go around. The challenge is in finding how to express that love most effectively.

Later Betty asked me what I would do; what was the one thing I would change here in Poipet right now if it were possible. And my answer was a simple one. A beginning. And as I said it, I wondered if this was not exactly what I am supposed to do. I answered her question without hesitation; in fact, I didn’t even have to think: ‘I would like the street children to be given food and water and then some basic education, every day, or at least a few days of every week’. This answer embraces the reality that I, ‘Westerner’, don’t have the power or even the understanding needed to change their situation. But I can make it better. We can. At least these children could go to sleep without the need to ignore thirst because they had no money to buy bottled water. At least they could work with energy because they have had something to eat. And perhaps, if they could learn to read and write, they could find a way out of the lifestyle of abuse and exploitation that they live. Most of all, in reaching out a hand, we transfer a strong and very powerful message  – ‘You are deserving, you are a good person, you are worth it.’

Earlier Andrea had given me a phone so that she could phone me to let me know when she was finished with her meetings; we planned to have supper together. Very focused on my photo editing task, I did not at first realise that the phone that had been ringing so insistently at various intervals over the last 40 minutes or so was the one she had lent me! In my defence I will say that it was a different ringtone; truth is that I was amazed at the power of focus – how it shuts out all distractions. Now to utilise the same degree of focus in my horsemanship!

We went to yet another restaurant at the Casino for supper... I was not hungry at all, and so I just had a coffee milkshake. And we chatted about the children and about my ideas with regard to starting up some sort of preschool/‘mums and littlies’ education project. Called ‘Roots’, the focus will be on empowering and envisioning mothers, and on laying good educational foundations for small children. We discussed some of the cultural and social challenges, not least of which is the Asian perspective that the purpose of children is to look after their parents. The Asian picture of family development seems to be more of a circle, while the Western one is more linear. We have much to give to each other. But I realise afresh that I have such a lot to learn. My conclusion is that the idea of ‘Roots’ is good, but maybe a little premature... I am going to hold onto it for a while; maybe begin developing the curriculum, and wait to see what develops about implementation next year after the Poipet church has had more time to get established. Initially I had thought to run the project through CHO; for various reasons this no longer seems feasible. And I am certainly not ready to try to do something on my own. I need the experience and guidance of people who understand Cambodia better than I do.

Alongside this, I realise that I have another emphasis – street children. This emphasis came up in both Brazil and Cambodia, and I find my heart responding. I wonder whether this is part of my picture.... I will wait and pray and see. It would be so good to see some sort of basic needs provision in place. But chatting with Andrea, I realise that my simple idea, of food and water, is harder to implement than it seems. There are many hidden cultural and political and social challenges – potential pitfalls – that could sabotage my great idea. Andrea encourages me with the reminder that the thought that is ‘Is too hard to implement’ is not the correct answer; that there is a way that will work, but that persistence and perseverance is needed to find it.

Back in my hotel room I am quiet and thoughtful. Hey God!

Cambodia Trip - Sunday, Day 7

So it is the end of Operation Justice for November 2012.

It was sad saying ‘Goodbye’ to all the team members, and yet again I was left thinking how funny it is that just 10 days ago we would have passed each other in the street without a second glance, but now we are really sad to be parted from each other. There is something about being out on an extreme together that forges bonds more quickly than normal. 

The team members who were flying out from Bangkok left at 09h00. The rest of us went to church. What a privilege to share fellowship with part of the Cambodian church in Poipet. Participating in worship in Khmer was particularly moving. Of course, I couldn’t sing in Khmer, but I could certainly join in the proclamation of God’s goodness (the words were translated into English on the screen). For the sermon we were given earphones so that we could listen in to one of our interpreters translating for us. Straight after church the rest of the team left, in order to take flights leaving from Siem Reap. I went for lunch with Malina and Andrea and the rest of the long-term staff. We went to a Western restaurant at the border, and I had a pizza, but with spicy Thai chicken on top – so it was a compromise of sorts!

As we came out of the restaurant the border kids came running; they had seen us through the window of the restaurant and were waiting outside. Quick hugs and the last of the chocolates were dispensed, and then we went back to our hotel. I collected my laptop and went off to Destiny Cafe, where I intended to spend a quiet afternoon writing up my notes from this last week.

However, this idea was quickly sabotaged by a cute young boy, who came over to see my photographs. After a while I got talking to Andrea, and while I was doing this, he found a game on my Facebook page – which he then, of course, asked to play. I couldn’t say no to that sweet and expectant face, and so I lost control of my computer for a couple of hours. I ended up helping him play all the way up to Level 12. Those of you who know me well know how much I dislike games. You also possibly know that no-one ever gets to play games on my laptop. But yeh, I not only allowed this young fellow to play; I even assisted him! Eventually we reached a Level where we would have needed to buy some ‘tools’ to be allowed to continue; at this point I put my foot down and said ‘No more!’. Which is how come I am now finally writing this update! *

Betty offered to take me to get some supper, but after a week of eating mainly rice, the pizza has turned out to be more than enough food. Hours later I still feel full! I will probably treat myself to a coconut juice before bed. And I most certainly intend to have an early night for once!

* What I didn't know at the time was that I would not only let this youngster use my laptop; Craig and I would also end up sponsoring his education. It was an appointed and important time, that afternoon of gaming!

Cambodia Trip - Saturday, Day 6

I woke up to total darkness. Power failure. And although I did have a torch, I had no idea where I had put it! So I showered in the dark and then used my iPhone to find the torch, hidden under a pile of clothes in the wardrobe (in my defence I’ll say that I had not needed it till now).

Brushing my teeth, and rinsing with bottled water, I thought again of this tremendous privilege that we in the West take so for granted – that of clean, safe, drinking water. In Poipet safe water needs to be bought by the bottle. What happens if you don’t have any money?

At Hope and Health there was oats for breakfast! I was surprised; although Andrea told me that there had been oats in May, I had not noticed them. To be honest, I couldn’t imagine wanting to eat oats here. I like them in winter in England – they are a great ‘cold country food’. Instead I had juice with ice, followed by two cups of coffee.

‘God Time’ at the XP Centre was great. A good way to start the final day of this particular Operation Justice trip. Malina and Bart both shared a bit about adjusting back to ‘normal’ life in our home countries. We prayed for our interpreters, who have all been such an amazing support to us. There is no way we could do what we do here without their help. We filled out Feedback forms. And then had time to chat and relax until lunch.

After lunch I had some more time to chat with friends - and to tidy my photos and upload them on Facebook. I did this at Destiny Cafe, while waiting for Eliza, who was having her hair done. She and I had volunteered to teach English at a nearby church.

15h00 found us waiting expectantly on the sidewalk for our transport, but it didn’t come. Lay noticed us waiting and so he came over to find out if we had a problem. He then phoned to arrange transport for us, and decided that he would take me on the back of Samnang’s motorbike, and called for another motorbike (taxi) to take Eliza. Eliza zoomed off with her driver, and Lay and I followed. Within a short while they were out of sight, and Lay and I were lost. It had been raining pretty hard the night before, and the roads were very muddy. Lay was worried about slipping, and we negotiated our way slowly and carefully. We went down one road and up another and we couldn’t find the church. Someone said it was down another road and we tried taking it, only to find that it was a deep muddy pool. Interesting! Poor Lay’s nice shoes were soon coated in mud as he kept putting his foot down to stop the bike falling over. The water was disgustingly dirty and full of refuse; one certainly didn’t want to fall into it. How these people manage to live in these conditions at all is amazing. There were houses on either side of the road, and in some cases the water was running on the doorsteps.

Eventually Lay found a reasonably dry place – in the middle of the road (!) where he left me holding the bike while he went to ask for directions. I used the moment to take a photograph – but this was the best of the roads we went down; I hadn’t dared get the camera out at any other stage in case we fell over. Waiting, I wondered what to do if a car came down the road, but fortunately Lay came back just as a truck wended its way towards us, and moved the bike out of the way. He was so concerned to make sure that I did not get muddy even though it meant his own shoes were covered in muck; the never-ending graciousness and servant heart of this man blesses me so much.  

We went down a track and up another... and there was the church. Eliza was just beginning to wonder where I was, and I think she was relieved to find that she would not be teaching the class on her own. We had been under the impression that we were going to teach one or two adults; however, there was a group of about 14 teenagers ready and waiting for us. They already had a good basic knowledge of English, and they asked if we could do a Bible story with them. We chose ‘Jesus and the Storm’. Considering what happened a little while alter, this was an excellent choice!

First the students read the story in their own Khmer Bibles. And then, using drawings and actions, and writing key words and phrases, on the whiteboard we told the story and got them to repeat it after us. We did this over and over until they could tell the story themselves. We then talked about the reason why Jesus said: ‘Do not be afraid!’ (Because He was with them). Lay helped with translating each step of the way. 

Later they drew a drawing to illustrate the story in their books and copied in the words. We ended by memorising the Scripture in Matthew 28:20, in which Jesus reassures us that He is with us, always, to the very end of the age. Knowing how tough life can be for these youngsters, I wanted to leave them with something that would encourage them, not just improve their English.

As we were about to leave, the rain came down. And when I say it came down, it really really did. In sheets of water that turned the already muddy road in front of the church into a river within moments. The children were delighted, and soon they were all running up and down, playing in the water. We waited hopefully, thinking the rain might stop in a while, but as there was no sign of it doing so, and as no-one would possibly be able to fetch us on a motorbike in these conditions, we decided to walk back. Lay was so concerned about us, but we assured him that we would be fine. Which we were, even though we got soaked, to the skin, within a few minutes of stepping out into the rain. Lay had borrowed an umbrella, but it was not much use, as we had to pick our way back and forth through the mud. Poor Lay! I think he might have regretted his generous offer to help us when he could have had the afternoon off!

In the beginning I was feeling squeamish about the water, knowing what it had looked like earlier when we were on our way to the church. But watching the kids playing in it with such glee gave me a sense of perspective again. Eliza and I decided to return to childhood, and so we marched along (well, we tried to march - truth is there was a lot off slipping and sliding), singing ‘I’ll become even more undignified than this’. 

The children soon caught on to our song and danced around us, singing it too. Lay gave up worrying about his charges getting wet and muddy and joined us in laughing our way back to the hotel. We certainly made a memory today! I said that in days to come, I would tell the story about what happened the day Lay and I went somewhere together, and the visuals of this idea were so funny to us that we laughed and laughed. Which the children found funny, so they laughed too. They kept making comments about ‘The English’; I think it amused them immensely to watch us dealing with conditions that they experience often. 

Along the way, water was running off the roofs of some of the shops, and, as if they were not wet enough already, the children stood under the water as if it was a shower. Later Eliza and I wondered what would have happened had we joined them... sadly we did not think of the idea in time, so we will never know. I suspect they would have found it hilarious. The children accompanied us all the way back to our hotel, and reluctantly said ‘Goodbye’ when we told them to go home. We certainly didn’t want them anywhere near the main street in that vision-obscuring rain.

At our hotel I had time for a very quick shower and change and then it was off to the border for supper at the Casino. Most of our team went to the Western restaurant, but a few of us went with Sam Eng to the Asian buffet. I had Thai Green curry, which I love, and followed on with Thai noodles and chicken. Of course I did not need both, but as I couldn’t choose between the two, I had both! To finish, I had Sam’s drink of strong expresso coffee mixed with condensed milk – which was delicious.

As we were leaving, to our delight, Wav, one of the teenage boys Aaron and Sambo and I had taken for lunch the day before came past. Aaron was so happy, as he had kept some of his meal in the hope that he would find one of the boys, and he was able to give it to Wav.

We then all went back to the XP Centre where our team members were prayed for and encouraged. I sat with Narith and Sambo, feeling a bit sad that it was our last evening together for now. I was very blessed when Narith prayed for me. He prayed in Khmer, and I didn’t understand a word, but this did not matter, knowing that God did! I certainly felt the love and the joy that came with it. 

Much later, sitting at our hotel, I listened quietly, full-hearted, as Narith shared his life story, his vision and his dreams for ministry with me. Yet again I felt very privileged to have been given the gift of friendship with this man. Born in 1979, just before the Khmer Rouge lost power, he has lived through so much of what I only know as history. And out of the tragedy of a nation cut down, God has brought him into life and light and restoration. He is testimony to what God does here in Cambodia.  

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent 

about things that matter.

~   Martin Luther King, Jr.

Cambodia Trip - Friday, Day 5

Well, it has been a rather heart wrenching morning. After a good time of worship and a great teaching by Aaron on the Qualities of a Forerunner, a few of us went with Malina to take some border children for another meal. 

Malina had said to collect six children at the most, and so while she arranged for our groups visit at the restaurant, Kristen and Sophy and I went in search of children. I really wanted to connect with a few of the older children, to hear from their what their lives were like. Sophy had warned me that they would probably be drunk or high, but this was still on my heart. After a while we found one teenage boy that she knew, so we invited him, and then a group of teens came running and we had to be resolute in choosing just three; Sophy (who had had previous experience to give her wisdom) was adamant that taking a large group of teens would have been unmanageable. We also found most of the younger children we had fed a few days before – and from these we could not just choose three, so we piled them all in and filled our vehicle to capacity. Arriving at the restaurant we sheepishly told Malina that we were not that good at counting – we must have had at least twelve children with us. So more tables had to be rearranged and it was a while before everyone could be seated.

While we waited for the food to come, Aaron and I talked with the older boys, Sambo interpreting. Two of them were 18 years old, and the other was 17. Apparently one boy works as a cart puller, and the other two work collecting bottles and cans for recycling – earning between 100 and 400 Thai Baht each day, depending on how much work they got. The average was 200 Thai Baht. 

Like the younger children, they willingly answered our questions:

‘How much does it cost to survive each day?’

‘150 Baht, but sometimes there is no money for water and then we go to sleep thirsty.’

‘Where do you sleep?

‘Against the wall where you found us.’

‘Do you have a family?’

‘No’, ‘No’ and ‘Yes, my mother died, but I have a father and a sister’.

Set, 18 years old and working as a
cart puller. 

The boy who had family then told us that he works (pulling carts) and sends money home to his dad so that his sister can go to school. Aaron said that this was a very honourable thing to do and that it showed that he has a heart for his family. He smiled and thanked Aaron, but then volunteered the information that he sniffs glue, almost as if he didn't want us to think more highly of him than was fair. We asked if the other boys do this as well, and they said ‘Yes’. I asked why. He said: ‘Because it makes me fly...’, and ‘For a while I can forget about things...’

We asked the boys what they would like to do if it were possible for them to change their lives? The cart puller said he would like to train as a motorbike mechanic, because then he could earn very good money. The other boy wanted to be a tailor. The third didn’t say anything. I asked Sambo if there was anywhere that these boys could train if it were possible to get funding for them. These are not very big ambitions. Surely there must be a way to fulfill them? He said he didn’t know of anywhere here; maybe in Phnom Penh (9 – 10 hours away). I asked if there was anywhere they could get help to give up drugs and glue sniffing if they wanted to. Apparently there is a centre, about 60km away, but it caters for children from wealthy families, and Sambo was not sure if they would accept street children, even if someone was willing to sponsor them. What would it cost to go to this centre? $500 on entry, and $100 per month thereafter. But he heard that there is a long waiting list, because the centre is full.

The boy in the middle is the one who said that
he had never had a proper meal.

Meanwhile the food had arrived. It was a feast of rice and different toppings, and they ate and ate and ate. We asked if they had eaten yet today? ‘No’. And when was the last time they had eaten a proper meal like this? And the 17 year old said this was the first time. Oh God! Wanting to break down and cry, I said that made us very happy to watch them eating; to know that for today at least, they would not be hungry. I also said that I was very sorry that life was so hard for them, and that my wish was for it to be different in the future. Aaron shared that we wanted to bless them and to let them know that there is a God who cares about them.

Julie with one of the younger boys

As we took the children back to the border after their meal, one little girl started crying. She had heard that Kristen, with whom she had really connected, was going back to Canada and that she would not see her again. We also found out that she was afraid that she would be beaten for coming with us when she was supposed to have been begging. So we went with her to find the woman she said was her mother to try to explain. But this lady did not want to talk with us, and there was not much we could do. It was so hard to watch this little girl walking away, looking back at us, tears running down her cheeks. (One is never sure whether it is really the mother or the ‘handler’; the handler supervises a group of child beggars, each of whom have to bring in a certain amount of money each day or face the consequences. The reason we were unsure about the identity of this woman was that the child had previously told us that her mother was sick, and that this was why she was begging.)

Back at lunch, Kristen was having a hard time with her emotions. Pretty much like the rest of us. It was a solemn meal.

We  didn’t feel like we had much more to give in the way of ministry that afternoon, so it was a relief to sign up for a service project at the restaurant to which we had taken the children instead. It was really dirty – obviously they don’t have food hygiene inspections here! So we took everything out of the restaurant and cleaned and cleaned. Within a while we had gathered an interested audience, who were rather surprised to see a group of Westerners cleaning a Khmer restaurant! The owners of the restaurant were so grateful, and even though they were not Christians (there was a large altar to Buddha in the restaurant), they said that we had brought the love and the peace of Jesus to them. I got very hot and bothered – those English genes! Eventually I asked for an ice cube which I rubbed along the back of my neck and on my head. It melted within a few minutes. I must have been rather overheated! 

Back at our hotel it was good to have a cold shower and to lie on my bed for a while. I skipped supper in order to have time to do this, and it was worth it. Back at XP we had a worship concert in the street which was great fun. It began to rain, but of course it was not cold, so we stayed outside and danced and sang and were refreshed physically, spiritually and emotionally. It was particularly special to sing a song in English, and then to have the Khmer version of the same song. It was with a full heart that we ended the evening singing ‘Hallelujah’ together; people from America, Canada, Australia, Britain and Cambodia, together worshipping the same God with a song that remains the same in every language.