Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 8

This afternoon I sit outside on the bench and chat with one of the boys while he makes halters for Horses for Orphans. In a neutral voice but with great sadness in his eyes he tells me: “Do you know that my mother does not want me?” I do know this. I heard that she sent him away when he was just five years old. But what is there that one can possibly say? I look at him and say that this is a very great hurt, and that I know it too, because my mother doesn’t want me either. I then tell him about the Scripture God gave me that has helped me so much in dealing with this heartache. It is from Psalm 27: “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”

Bill Johnson, speaking in England recently, shared about how we, who were orphans, are now sons and daughters of God. God is not the caretaker of an orphanage. He is the Father of a family. And all His interventions in our lives address the issues of sonship. At the end of the day, no amount of human loving is going to make up for the hurt and the love deficit in the lives of these children. What I do know is that the love of God can and does heal this kind of damage. I myself am testimony to this.

The younger boys have another Horse Agility session this afternoon. We are challenged to use our bits of Portugese terminology to explain the tasks, giving up and miming them when we can't make ourselves understood. Each team member is responsible for a different task. I have the circle ('circolo'), with cones in 4 quadrants where they have to stop: 'Para!' First they are to attempt the task at the walk ('andar'), and then at the trot ('trote'). I am delighted to find that I am able to communicate this, entirely in Portugese! Of course the children laugh at my pronunciation...

Ricardo* had a birthday a few weeks ago, and Ingela calls the team together so that we can surprise him with a little celebration. We gather some of our snacks and sweets from England and so are able to give him a small gift. Ingela and Richard have a Facebook account and a memory stick of photos prepared for him. We get to tell him, one by one, something we like about him. I comment on his excellent horsemanship, and on his smile. Ricardo* smiles all the time, and he makes you feel happy when you are with him. Just so you know, Ricardo's* mother is in a mental asylum, and he has nothing and no-one else. But he carries joy in and with him wherever he goes. 

* Name changed to protect privacy

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 7

This morning we sleep in and get up in time to go to church. It is great to be in church in another country, and in another language and yet to find things in common. It is a moment of the English church connecting with the Brazilian church. There is a guest speaker, and the service is lively. Even though we don’t understand much of what is said, we are able to get some idea of the message. Afterwards there is prayer ministry. I take Bruno up to the front with me and he receives prayer.

After lunch we head off to the waterfall. A number of the boys have asked to be baptised, and Mel and Emma and Julie and Kate will be baptised too, along with them. For Julie and Kate, this is the fulfilment of a dream they have treasured for a long time.  Originally they had wanted to be baptised in the South African sea, like their father. But since they heard about Brazil, and more particularly, about the waterfall, they have spoken of being baptised here. Previously they had asked their father if he would mind very much if they were baptised by Richard and Ingela while they were in Brazil and he has given his permission for them to go ahead, but I miss Craig very much as I watch this significant event in their lives.

Earlier in the week we were given an enormous Jackfruit. Amazing! It has a strong smell, and I have a slight prejudice against the idea of eating it, but Ingela tells us that it is one of her favourite fruits. And Welliton’s eyes light up at the very mention of the word ‘Jackfruit’.

So after English, Welliton helps us cut open this peculiar fruit and he shows us how to eat it. It tastes a little bit like banana, and I decide that I do not like it. The girls do not agree, and tuck in with relish. But the Jackfruit is enormous – far too much for us to eat. Welliton is delighted when we offer him some and he sits with a half in his lap, digging out the fruit and eating with relish. His faithful little dog, Nina, sits by his side, to my amusement, sharing in the feast. I guess the animals around here learn to eat whatever they are given.

I find myself wishing it were possible to photograph this moment in natural light. I would take the image of Welliton eating Jackfruit and enlarge it to poster size and simply entitle it ‘Enjoyment’. I have never seen a better description of this word. He is such an expressive boy. Full of enthusiasm and energy, he rushes through his days. He is quick and energetic and strong. It is exhausting watching him and I wonder how he manages to run so much in this heat.

During the night there is a commotion on our veranda. I jump up and try to see what is going on. It is the cows - come for what is left of the Jackfruit. There is a lot of arguing about who gets what and cows run up and down for ages. In the morning, there is nothing left at all.

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 6

On Saturday the children do not do any horsemanship. Most Saturdays there are visits from church groups or relatives.

Normally the team would do things with the horses – foot trimming, teeth rasping, maybe even have a lesson with Reginaldo. But this Saturday Ingela and Richard take Reginaldo into Aneapolis so that he can participate in a ministry school there. They are gone the whole day. The rest of us remain at Betel and have our usual fresh breadrolls and some eggs for breakfast, and then we worship and prayer together. I lead our 'God Time' with the help of  iTunes! The horses have been fed and turned out earlier by Emma and Neil, so there is no work to do with them. Our team has a few little issues to discuss, and we have a planning session for the afternoon.

After lunch I work on the Portugese version of the Horse handling book.

The rest of the team (except Neil, who stays with me) goes to the girls’ houses where they have a great time colouring in, talking, practising Portugese, painting nails and plaiting hair. I have had very little time to get to know the girls, but Julie and Kate are developing some firm friendships. We have brought a number of little gifts with us, and the girls have time to hand these out. One little girl reciprocates, giving Kate one of her teddy bears. Moments like these touch the heart deeply.


The girls are gone for ages. Meanwhile Neil has a peaceful time talking with some of the boys outside; he is showing them photogrpahs of his home and life in England. I enjoy the sound of their voices as I work.

When the girls return, we go to the water hole with Patrick and a few of the younger boys to have a swim. Along the way we meet Douglas, who gives us some guavas. I had forgotten how much I like this fruit.

We get back to our house just in time to change quickly and go to the dining room for supper. Mel and I sit with Bruno and Aurimar and Rogerio. They tell us the Portugese names for ‘rice’ and ‘beans’ and ‘tomato’, and we try our best to remember them!

After supper we return to our house and sit on the veranda. Welliton and Patrick and Rogerio arrive with a few of the other boys and they try, once again, to climb the palm tree. Kate has set them a challenge and they are determined to do it. There is a lot of laughter, and triumph when Rogerio finally manages to do it. Then Julie teaches Welliton and Patrick some Irish dancing. Once again there is a lot of laughter as they tangle their feet in knots. I say something about wishing we had internet so that we could show them Michael Flately and Riverdance... and Patrick says that if I sit in a particular spot with my laptop, maybe I will be able to connect. Yes, it is true! I am delighted. However, it takes ages to download the video clip. Meanwhile we go onto Facebook and I show the boys photographs of England and of the rest of our family and of our horses and dogs. There is a lot of excitement about these photographs, and the excitement escalates when I start showing them the photos I have of the Horse for Orphans project. They are particularly delighted to see images of themselves from the early days of the project. Later we show them the Riverdance clip and they are amazed at the speed with which the dancers move their feet. We share watermelon and chat in our little bits of English and Portugese. It is a lovely evening.

All too soon it is nine o’ clock and we have to send the children away. Hugs and ‘Boa Noite’ all round and then we have a bit of time with Ingela and Richard who have just returned.  

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 5

This afternoon we do Horse Agility with the girls. Initially there weren’t any girls in the program, but the orphanage has agreed to allow some of the girls one horsemanship session per week. However, they are not allowed to train with the boys – it has to be on a separate day. The boys come along to watch, and are reluctantly sent away by us.

Emma continues preparing Welliton for his Horse Handling assessment; he has achieved some of the tasks but has a way to go yet. Douglas is also working hard on his Horse Handling tasks. Just 13, he is a very dedicated horseman, and it shows. He has a lovely relationship with his horse, Palomina, and there is a lot of harmony between them. Ingela comments that if he passes all his tasks this time, Douglas will be the youngest person to complete the first H-Factor certificate.

Ingela gives Bruno a lesson. Bruno has only been riding for 8 weeks – he is a very fast learner and I am impressed. Aurimar remains my favourite ‘cavaleiro’ (horseman) though. The way he rides speaks volumes to me about moving and flowing in harmony with the horse, and I learn a lot just watching him. Later I tell him that I would like it if he could be my ‘professor de equitação’ (riding instructor). Smiling, he offers me his horse, a tall Lusitano called Zageru ... but I am not ready to embrace this challenge yet!

Today, after many attempts, Kate realises her goal of climbing the palm tree. The boys are amazed, and she is asked, again and again, to demonstrate how to do it. Of course, her smaller size does make the task a little easier. But it is still quite an achievement. There is nothing to hold onto on the trunk of a palm tree, so it is all about balance and grip. She admits that her thigh muscles ache every time she does it, and that it is very tiring.

Friday night is movie night when the Horses for Orphans teams are here. We set the children up in our ‘lounge’ with their chosen movie – Flicka. (Apparently they always request this one.) While they watch I make piles and piles of popcorn. Mel mixes cooldrink, and the rest of the team keeps the children supplied with snacks and chocolates and drinks. After a while a boy named Breno* comes into the kitchen. He doesn’t speak English, and all my attempts to communicate with him earn the response ‘Sim, Sim’ (‘Yes, Yes’) and a smile. He has suffered brain damage as a result of drug abuse in his childhood. Tonight he takes a necklace off his neck and puts it around mine. I am touched by his gift, and by the accompanying hug. I wear this necklace for the rest of my stay at Betel.

 * Name changed to protect privacy

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 4

Kate continues trying to climb the palm tree. The challenge is on! The older boys cannot allow some little English kid to achieve something they have never done. Suddenly the palm trees are assaulted by wiry bodies, climbing, slipping, sliding... a lot of laughter accompanies these attempts.

I spend most of my day helping Ingela with the Portugese translation of the Horse Handling book – we are formatting and checking for obvious errors before it goes to the Portugese editors.

The rest of the team does Horse Agility with the older boys. Ingela sees my crest-fallen face when I realise that I am spending my afternoon indoors and laughs. Later when it rains really hard, she reminds me that we – at least – are not getting wet!

Later that same afternoon, Julie and I sit with one of the older boys and listen as he tells us his parents are dead. I had heard about this tragedy from Ingela, that his whole family had been shot dead in front of him when he was eleven years old. That’s my Kate’s age.  I watch this boy, and wonder how on earth one lives on with so much pain inside. He is beautiful, inside and out; immediately one of our favourites. One that, if I could, I would without hesitation bring home with us to Longfields, regardless of the inevitable upheaval this would cause. He moves with a lithe grace, and is full of life. His inherent kindness is tangible – he is the one who brings us different fruits to eat, who gives as well as takes hugs, who cuts a way through the bush for us so that we don’t scratch our legs on the way to the waterfall. But there is a huge and suppressed anger in him, one that energises him and keeps him in constant motion.

I have realised rather fast that rice and beans for both lunch and supper is just not working for my body. My appetite has disappeared and I feel slightly sick at the thought of eating. So I skip lunch and just have supper. This is fine; it is way to hot to feel hungry! The bread rolls are delicious, so I enjoy starting my day with strong black Brazilian coffee and a roll, maybe with cheese, sometimes with an egg. Such a simple diet... and the children of Betel thrive on it. They have strong, healthy bodies. Makes me think, yet again, about the Western diet; how much we pander to our tastebuds – and pay the price for it. 

In the evening there is English, as usual. We start off with everyone, and then divide into smaller groups to practise. Tonight I work with Raphael, who has some knowledge of English already. He informs me that he would appreciate it if I will practise verb tenses with him. Once again I am faced with the incongruousness of the English language as we look at regular verbs and then irregular verbs. 

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 3

Once again I awaken to the sound of the distant alarm clock. I am rather amused – later - to discover that it is not an alarm clock at all, but the sound of the indicator on the school bus, waiting to take the children to school! The older children leave for school just after six in the morning. They go to school until lunchtime. After lunch the younger children go to school, for the afternoon. There is a school building at Betel, that was used for the younger children until recently, but since the teacher left a few months ago, the children have had to go to school in Cocalzinho.

When we come out of our house this morning we see an amusing sight. The ostrich of Betel has to be the most unusual ostrich in the world. Not only is she far from her African origins; she also has emotions. The gardener loves her, and he spends time hugging her every day. And she very obviously loves him too, and likes the hugging.

The girls go off with Emma and Reginaldo to fetch the horses, and while Reginaldo feeds them, Julie and Kate muck out. Reginaldo is astonished at the speed with which the girls do the task, and later, at the house, he tells Ingela about it. I say that they have been well trained by Kerrin!

No children arrive this morning for a lesson, so Emma asks the girls please to handle some of the less confident horses. Kate chooses Branco, who is hard to catch, and Julie works with Tornada, who is afraid of having her legs touched. This is evident by the length of her hooves; before the team leaves she will have to have her feet trimmed. And before that can happen, she has to let people hold her feet!

I am super proud of Kate, when, after 10 minutes or so of patient approach and retreat, and a little bit of driving game, she is able to halter Branco without a fuss. One of the boys is watching in surprise. Earlier he has offered to help Kate catch the horse – and later we discover that the boys are accustomed to chasing this horse all over the place for a long time before they manage to catch him. I am glad Kate refused his assistance! Kate rubs Branco’s neck and then takes the halter off again. Now it is the horse’s turn to be surprised. I don’t know if he has ever been caught for ‘nothing’ before! He licks and chews and turns to watch her as she walks away. I love it! After a while she goes back and halters him again. Easily this time.

Almost as we are about to put the horses out for the day, William arrives for his lesson. Reginaldo takes him aside for a quick session, but there is no time to do much. William is very keen on horses, and young as he is, he is competent in walk, trot and canter. Today he does a bit of groundwork.

Back at our house we have a quick breakfast and then Richard and Ingela join us for our daily ‘God Time’. Then it is off to lunch. By now I have realised that rice and beans for lunch and supper is too much for me, so I have made the decision to skip lunch. I use the time to work on the Portugese version of the H-Factor Horse Handling book.

We have been adopted by a waif of a cat. Black and white and extremely persistent, she meows until one of us picks her up, after which she doses off to sleep in blissful delight. I have not yet met a cat who likes to be handles this much. I suspect that she is storing up reserves for after we are gone....

The cat is not the only one who has adopted us. Boys congregate outside our house, waiting patiently for one or another of us to come outside. When we do, we are greeted with enthusiasm, and hugged by strong young bodies.

After lunch the team goes off to do Horse Agility in the arena with the younger boys. They are so cute! Valdimir catches my attention with his gentle, focused attitude and his kindness towards his horse. Some of the other boys are trying so hard that they forget to encourage their horses.

Douglas and Marcos join us again; because they are advanced they get to ride with the older boys, but this is actually their time slot.

Kate has decided to take on the challenge of climbing the palm tree to the top. This idea was generated by stories of Kerrin’s (failed) attempt, years earlier, to climb a coconut palm in Tanzania. I am a little dubious about all this – the palm trees are very tall and the surface beneath them is rock hard. But Kate is determined, and I have learned over the years that it is better to let the children get on with it once they have an idea in their heads.

We finish our day with another English class. And with a chat with the older boys on the veranda outside our house before bedtime. Followed by the usual debriefing session and hugs all around. 

Horses for Orphans, Brazil - Day 2

I wake to the sound of someone’s alarm clock, insistently buzzing in the distance. It is none of ours, but I am awake. I make myself a cup of coffee and sit in the lounge and drink it. It is good to have a few moments to be quiet before the day begins.

Off I go to the shower. Interesting! The water runs directly onto the floor of the tiny bathroom and wets the toilet and the basin and everything else. I discover that is it wisdom to leave one’s towel and clothes on the other side of the door! The shower head is high above, and I am glad about this, because exposed electrical wires run along it. Apparently electrocution in the shower is often a cause of death in Brazil. Looking up I can see why!

It is a challenge getting Rebecca out of bed. She is so tired! But we are all supposed to go with Reginaldo to fetch the horses this morning. We are running late. Eventually we are all ready and off we go. Most of the horses are waiting at the arena. It is nice to see so many that we recognise from the photographs. Emma tells us the names as we go past each one. But eight are missing. So off we go in search of them. This is not very easy – there is a lot of land they could be on, and cows are everywhere. From a distance it is not always possible to see if it is a cow or a horse. After a period of fruitless searching, Emma suggests that we go back and ask Reginaldo to go and look for them on horseback. It is already hot, and more humid than we are accustomed to.

We go back up to the house where we are supposed to meet the younger children who are coming for their first horsemanship lesson. They are nowhere in sight. So we get some water and sit outside and chat. Lilian, a disabled woman, comes over to join us. She squeezes into the small space between Julie and me. She doesn’t talk much, and what she does say we don’t understand. She just likes to sit with us.

I photograph some birds and the flowers and we wonder what to do – we don’t know where to find the children who are supposed to be coming for a lesson. .... Young Marco* arrives and says hello. He asks Rebecca if he may take some photos with her camera. He has us all laughing as he enthusiastically photographs everything in sight! Marco* is the boy Ingela told me about, who, every three weeks when the relatives come to visit the children, waits at the bus stop in the hope that maybe, this time, his mother will come. She never does. 

Suddenly the children arrive for their horsemanship lesson. We were told to expect three children, but there are six. And now there is only half an hour left for their lesson. They cannot stay longer because they have to go to school afterwards. Down at the arena, it is a relief to see that the missing eight horses have come up by themselves while we were absent. We take the children over to the arena and Emma tries to explain haltering, but it is difficult. 

The children do not understand and begin talking and playing amongst themselves. Reginaldo steps in and explains in Portugese. Immediately he has a quiet and attentive audience. He then takes each child, one by one, and gets them to practise haltering a pole. I am struck by his gentleness and patience.

As he finishes with the first child, Julie takes her over to halter a horse named Palomino. And then Kate takes the next child. And Emma takes a third. I take photographs of the girls teaching the orphans with a rather full heart. This, after all, is what we have come all this way to do. It is one of those moments of supreme happiness that catch one unawares. I am so grateful to be here.

All too soon our time is up, and the other three children will have to wait for their next lesson to get a turn to actually halter a horse. We head back up to our house where we grab a quick cup of coffee and a breadroll. These breadrolls are made here at the orphanage and they are delicious. But we are running late now, and we earn ourselves a mild rebuke from Ingela.

Richard arrives with Reginaldo and a few of the boys, and we spend time worshipping God and praying. Before we know it, it is lunch-time. There is nothing quite so satisfying as connecting with our Father, and here it seems especially vital to do so. There is so much pain around us.

Lunch is the usual rice and beans and salad. Aurimar teaches me my next sentence: ‘How old are you?’ Afterwards we have a bit of free time to chat, relax, sleep, study Portugese or write updates.

In the afternoon we all go down to the arena to do horsemanship with the older boys. They have not been allowed to do horsemanship the last few weeks, so they need a little time to prepare their horses, and then they show us some of the things they are able to do. It feels so unreal to think that we are actually here, not just watching one of Ingela’s video clips. Here they all are, in front of me, smiling when they catch my eye. Reginaldo, Douglas, Marcos, Aurimar, Hudson, Weverson, Welliton, Rogerio... only Patrick, Gleidson, Fabricio and Antonio are missing. I watch Aurimar doing perfect circles on a loose rein, just with thought, energy and a subtle body cue – a slight lean to the side. It is beautiful, harmonious, connected. He makes it look easy – but having tried to do it with my own horse, I know it is not.

A boy standing on the side catches my eye. I recognise him immediately. It is Paulo*. I go over to him and say “Hello Paulo*”. He looks at me in surprise and asks: “You know me?” And I say: “Yes Paulo*, I know you”. And I hug him. I know you Paulo*. I have known you for two years. Prayed for you, cried for you, yearned to see you healed. I knew when you were removed from the horse project because of your extreme anger issues. I knew about your tears and your pain. I also knew when you beat your horse, your horse that you loved, and even Ingela found it hard to stop you. I know about your longing to be allowed back. I know you, precious stranger boy. I keep all these thoughts inside and simply say: “I know you Paulo*. I have seen many photos of you.” And he smiles.

Later we help Mel set up a Horse Agility course. Ingela explains the obstacles to the boys and they practise for a while. Just as we are about to begin the rain comes down – with a vengeance! This is certainly not English rain. Within a few minutes everything is soaked and we are glad we are wearing waterproof clothing. The boys and horses are drenched, but valiantly they continue with the Horse Agility course. We stand in the rain, cheering them on. Back at our house later, my shoes are soaking wet. Even though they are waterproof, there was enough rain running down my legs to soak them inside! Next time I will listen to advice and put on my waterproof trousers...

At supper Emma and I sit with Raphael, whose parents live and work at Betel. He is a lovely, gentle boy with an innate kindness on him. Opposite me is a very small boy, so tired that he does not want to eat. Head on his arms he stares into the distance. Raphael tells us that on the 27^th of this month he will be two years old. He goes around to this little chap and asks him if he wants to eat. The little boy shakes his head, and Raphael picks him up and takes him to his house mother.

Supper over we head off to the school building. We use one of the classrooms and teach English. Our theme is ‘Food and Drink’. Kate and Julie act out a dialogue...’Are you thirsty?’... ‘Yes, I am thirsty,’... ‘Are you hungry?’... ‘Yes I am hungry...’ and so on. We get the children to repeat the dialogue and then go around the group asking what their favourite food and drink is. There is a lot of laughter. 

Afterwards we split into smaller groups and chat about different things. It is a successful class.

The children come back to our house with us and we share chocolate and tea. If they ask in English, they can have more sugar in their tea. A lot of hilarity accompanies these requests.

Nine o’clock is bedtime for the boys, after which we meet with Richard and Ingela for a quick feedback and debrief session about how our first day has been. All of us are feeling very happy, which is good news! And finally we tumble into our beds, more than ready to sleep.

* Name changed to protect privacy